Five Guys

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One of the major characters in literature is the “downward spiral”, or “wretched excess” type – when the protagonist, sometimes through no fault of their own, keeps making mistakes and further pushes themselves onto a path of self-destruction. For this character, there is always a final moment of “make or break” which either stops the spiral or forever locks the character in misery. Five Guys seemed like such a moment for me – my blog could literally not choose something worse to review.


LocationFive Guys, Covent Garden, LondonFive Guys Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Category: American

Camera: iPhone 6Square Meal


Fine – I might have exaggerated a tiny bit, I have been to plenty other places which were nastier. And true, I had fully consciously decided to come to Five Guys – having been here once before but apparently decided not to write about it.

Needless to say that Five Guys is basically a form of McDonalds – and it really is more of a fast food joint than a restaurant as if you just sit back and watch the people making the burgers you can see it’s basically a factory. I’m all for cooking fast, but when you try to have this speed I certainly question the amount of detail you can give to the food. On Zomato, the restaurant is also apparently known for “250,000 different ways of ordering the burgers, all of which are made with fresh roll stamped prime beef”.

That is factually incorrect. There are 15 different toppings for your burger – that means a total of 8,192 potential combinations (if anyone ever get all 15 of them, please do take a picture). Considering there are 8 different burger types, that means you have 65,536 different ways of ordering the burgers… not quite 250,000. Math is fun.

One good thing, however, about this joint is the bottomless soft drinks you can order – and they really do have quite a variety here! Raspberry Sprite anyone?

The burger was all squished, as if someone had a fit of anger and thought my burger was a stress ball. Would be a good place to eat after a night of heavy drinking – but couldn’t really finish anything.

Grade: Inferno

 

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