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In the same dull way that a clock moves from one hour to the other (languish at times so as to torture us), so does Canary Wharf never stop impressing on me the full extent of how bad restaurants there are. Browns effortlessly falls into the category of mediocrity, at times just circling the divide between that and abhorrently bad food, but never quite crossing the boundary.

Location: Browns, Canary Wharf, London

Category: British

Camera: Nikon D80, Nikkor 50mm lens

Browns is in part your typical British pub/restaurant with a twist of modern – the wooden undertones keep the original spirit alive, with modern glass doors and canteen style seating to ensure efficiency in allocating space. Now, I must say, I’m not against efficiency; some of my favorite restaurants are the crammed Japanese spots you can find in Soho. The problem is more that it all gets a bit rowdy and noisy. Typically English.

It didn’t start all that bad – it was kind of like when you go to the dentist and the dentist says you’ve only got a tiny cavity but then they start drilling and go a bit like “oh fuck it’s actually the size of California”. The pumpkin soup was pleasantly bland, yet much too hot to be edible (and managed to burn my tongue with┬áit). If there is anything that annoys me is when restaurants send off food that you have to sit and watch cool before you can eat. Best case scenario I twiddle my fingers until that happens, worst case scenario someone burns their tongue.

The main was the point when the dentist reaches the nerve and the anesthesia (read: burnt tongue) stops working. I am unsure how you can cook turkey breast so badly, but not only was the texture horrible (pieces of half-cooked fat from somewhere despite it being turkey breast which is quite lean meat) but the taste was also just horrible.

The dessert was decent compared to the rest, but the taste of chocolate was much too strong and in no way did any of the flavours blend (there was a biscuit and a strawberry which seemed to have found the wrong dish to lay themselves on).

Grade: Purgatory
Browns Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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One Comment

  1. Oh dear… the photos don’t look so bad – compliments to the photographer – but the description sounds horrid.
    Hope you have some better experience somewhere else soon, to cleanse the palate.

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