To many, I must certainly seem not really bothered by gay rights, which, in part, is fair: I think that gay parades hurt the gay rights movement; I dislike people being all friendly to each other simply because they are gay (as opposite to the straight, bad people). But the reason for my perceived coldness towards the issue isn’t that I do not care, it more that I think being gay needs to be something… well… casual. So long as “gay” clubs and “gay” parades exists, it only enforces this concept of gay vs non-gay.
However, this post isn’t about that. This post is about what some of my friends, who are supposedly smart, sometimes end up saying. And whilst they find it natural and I guess everyone is entitled to an opinion, it both hurts me and makes me want to slowly torture them until they repent.
And that is: gay parents cannot be as good as straight parents. More into context, the issue ended up in the fact that whether they had to choose to give a kid from an adoption house to a couple, they would rather give it to the straight couple than the gay couple.
So let me, once again, demolish this idiotic idea that gay couples can simply never compete with their straight counterparts.
a) Gay parents cannot possibly conceive children (unless it’s a lesbian couple) and hence they should not have them.
Firstly, my friends being smart, accept that gay parents have the potential to be good parents, and they set out their premise as “if both couples are prove they are good parents, then”. Well, in the real world, you just can’t set up that scheme. You do not have a meter that shows just how good each couple is at parenting so you can decide. No, you must make the choice whether you risk giving the kid to the gay couple because hey, they have great jobs and look like good people, or give it to the straight couple because they have this innate advantage of being straight.
Back to the point. Well, if that’s how we go on about it, then infertile couples shouldn’t have kids either. They also cannot possibly conceive children, and yet, under the theorem of my friends, they would gladly give them a few dozen children.
b) You need a both a mom and a dad to be raised properly.
This is, I think, the crux of what my friends say. They come up with this theory that a child needs both a female role-model in his life and a male role-model in order to “be raised properly”.
Several issues with this:
- Why must these role-models be the parents? Let us accept the premise that for a healthy life you need role models of both sexes. But surely, those gay parents have mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers, or friends, that could act just as well as role models. I do not understand exactly how the parents need to fulfill this role. Surely, the parents and not always the strongest influence in a person life. I love my parents, but I have rather found myself to seek as role models mentors. Other people have as role models their aunts, uncles, grandparents.
- Why do you even need role-models from both sexes? Really. We have children from single parents that are raised just great, and have no problems whatsoever. Moreover, I do not quite understand where and what this need to have both sexes in your life at such an intimate level. It’s not like we take the child and raise it in a purely male or purely female environment. Actually, now that we got there, this was rather the tendency before in history and sometimes even now, with schools being all boys and all girls, clearly trying to stop contact with the other sex. With communities that maintain a separation between the two sexes.
- This is the most important point I can think of. It is mainly that people who say that a child needs both a mother and a father have a very wrong perception of the concept of gender.
Let’s start from the very beginning. Sex is a biological aspect: you are either female, or you are male. This differentiation is done on the simple basis of what kind of reproductive system you have. Nothing else. Because, let me tell you a secret, there is no other difference. NONE!
Gender is a purely social construct. It is, and will forever be, what has enslaved women as being inferior for so long. Besides some purely biological differences (yes, sure, females also have generally weaker muscles and such, but it is not what makes the difference between male and female. The only element actually used is whether you have a dick or not). Simply because then society has somehow attributed specific “personalities” and “duties” to men and women, like, the male needs to be strong and bring the money in the house, whilst the female needs to cook and take care of the child.
But now that those ideas are being challenged, what possible difference do my friends see between a man and a woman? It is false that women are more sensitive than males (or at least some gay males). A child can also very well grow up in a family in which both the mom and dad share the very same traits. No one said they have to be different, nor that somehow sex A has traits from Column A and sex B has traits from Column B.
So, someone, please enlighten me, what is the difference between men and women in the act of taking care of children?
Really? You want to bring this point here? Sorry to tell you, but we already have plenty of other religions that raise kids, so just cause you God said somewhere (not that you have proof) that gays shouldn’t exist, your religion also probably send to hell all other religions. Also, if God really has a problem, he can send me a memo. I mean really, he could send Moses 10 whole rules, but can’t just descend and resolve this squabble?
d) Gay parents make gay kids
Well, I really don’t see anything wrong with that. I mean gay kids are amazing, if you ask me. Besides that then I wonder how come straight parents make gay kids. It seems everyone wants to make gay kids.
If you ask me, all those kids need is love. They don’t even need you to have amazing parenting skills. Tho that can’t hurt. But love, and understanding, and just let them go find out about life on their own. They might be kids, but they’re not morons.