Alice in Gayland

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It seems that the gay world has a way of existing of it’s own, with a lot of confusing (and amusing) terminology. So I decided to share my limited wisdom of this culture with you…

As you will soon see, the gay community seems to like categories a lot. And labeling. Even though supposedly we hate being labeled. Oh well.

A short (dictionary) Guide to Gay culture labeling:

Let’s start simple, at the basics. Gay people like labeling according to the sexual position they prefer:

  • Top (also: Pitcher, Active): The person that, well, pitches it. The ‘man’ of the relationship. (the one that penetrates, to be blunt)
  • Bottom (also: Catcher, Passive): The person that, well, catches. The one that is penetrated
  • Versatile: A person capable of being both top and bottom.

Off course, thing never remain this simple.

  • Power top/bottom: A person that is not only very active during sex, but that also tends to be dominating (remember, the bottom can be just as dominating as the top. Role does not show the preference for where ‘power’ lies in the relationship).

Then animals seem to be quite popular for terms (and generally describe the amount of hair):

  • Bear – Generally describing an older large man with a lot of body hair (and facial hair). Bears have their own subculture in the gay world and often their own gay clubs
  • Muscle-bear – Same as above but more muscular than fat (generally rugby built)
  • Cub – The younger version of a bear. It’s all about age as well.
  • Otter – The slim version of a bear/cub. Mainly, a skinny man with a lot of body/face hair.
  • Wolf – An older (hairy, though sometimes only referring to facial hair) man that is Dominant and perhaps even aggressive (sexually speaking)

Now, just a note. These terms are actually used on a daily basis. By most people. Going on to terms, obviously the way your body looks also seems essential:

  • Twink: Young, smooth (no hair), skinny guy.
  • Muscle Mary (more or less equivalent to Gym Bunny): Very muscular guys obsessed with having the perfect body. Can often be quite girly.
  • Jocks: Quite self explanatory. Generally young (though can go up to their 30’s) fit guys that fit the description of the “American Jock”. Not as muscular as Muscle Mary’s/Gym Bunnies

Then we like knowing what people like according to their label:

  • Size Queen: person very interested in the size of the tool.
  • Rice Queen: person into (mainly) asians
  • Potato Queen: person into (mainly) white people
  • Chocolate Queen: person into (mainly) black people
  • Sushi Queen: person into (mainly) japanese

And it goes on (think of curry, paella etc.) Then there is this obsession for acronyms and strange names that mean nothing to me.

  • GWM: Gay White Male
  • GAM: Gay Asian Male
  • GBM: Gay Black Male
  • Wog: dark skinned ‘foreigner’ (mainly used in Australia. Can mean italians, not only middle eastern or other darker skinned people)

There are probably much more terms. But I think these suffice for now. If you know others (or don’t know the meaning of others) feel free to comment.

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