The Great Malaysian Adventure – Part 1

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Monkeys, food, dangerous adventure! Click to see more!

ImageI seem to be getting much too accustomed to airports; it’s been barely a month since i’ve been in one. So I do my usual thing, get through passport control, baggage control, change in the toilet into something more summery and fashionable (all saints shoes, United Colours of Benetton shorts and Nicole Farhi T-shrt – morning melbourne weather would not have permitted me to go like that from home).

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At the gate, one of the flight attendants was orchestrating the place: moving pillars into the ideal position and what not. It looked as if she was preparing for a red carpet event. I scoffed at first – but then, i thought, this is how everyone should do their job. No matter how unimportant it may seem, it must be perfect! As if the Queen herself is visiting!

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In the plane. Dear person that likes eating boiled eggs from a lunch box. You disgust me. The smell of you food disgusts me. Please be disgusting in your home. I am trying to enjoy the empty seat next to me but I cannot expand my empire in peace because of fear of the cholera coming from your direction. Harsh, but necessary.

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But then I got to KL (the LCCT more exactly – Low Cost Carrier Terminal). The heat was engulfing – felt almost like Tokyo. The place buzzing with life. Swarming! People running everywhere, got a Malaysian phone number really fast and then a ticket to KL Sentral where I was going to meet up with Annu (9 ringgits for the ticket). Got on the bus and then on for a loooong way to the city (Surprisingly enough, Melbourne city center is only about 20 minutes from Tullamarine Airport. KL Sentral is about 1 hour away. One hour of palm trees!)

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And then I met Annu! In her little yellow car, just jumped in and we stormed away. Well, sort off. We went to eat some amazing chinese food (as she herself said, it looks like vomit, but it’s actually quite good) – which would predict a theme to my adventure. Well, a theme to ALL my adventures: food. Cheap, good, tasty food. They also give you crushed garlic and spicy peppers to put in your soy sauce! Heaven!

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The following day we went to a little indian place called “Devi’s Corner”. Alas, I am not the biggest fan of indian food – except for the Mango Lhassi. Which I adore even though I don’t really like mango. More importantly, what followed the Mango Lhassi was… the BATU CAVES! Oooooooooh.

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Enter Lord Murugan, the 15m tall statues coated in gold that is surrounded by MONKEYS! Bag-snatching, peanut munching MONKEYS!

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It also has these neat little flower things that besides smelling really great, you can buy and then you go an put the around one of the god statues inside the temple (located 272 stairs away) and pray and then the god helps you for whatever you want: money, love, power!

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So barefoot on the little steps I go, I say my prayer and I lay the flowers, I touch the feet for blessing. And off to the MONKEEEEEYS! Listen to next song for optimal ambiance:

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Now whoever knows me, or has met me, knows that I am an easily excitable person.

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Especially by animals.

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ESPECIALLY by chaos creating animals! Oh cue the millions of pictures with monkeys!

ImageOh when I got out of the temple, we were walking down, and the monkeys were gathering, slowly, one by one.

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I though they were preparing for a showdown with me, after they had been hiding during all my stay! (apparently the place is usually swarmed with them, but there werent any in the caves.) I was so ready! So pumped up!

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But instead one of them just jumped towards a white woman’s bag! And the monkey started to pull the bag. And the woman was pulling the bag. And the woman was pulling! And the woman was screaming! And her boyfriend was standing there looking like a twat! And the monkey was pulling! And the woman was yelling! And the boyfriend took a step back! And I was yelling on my inside “GO MONKEY GO!” all in slow motion, my face contorting, my fists in the air! Somewhere, a mother was giving birth and the child was yelling and it all was a celebration of life!

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Then we went to a Thai massage which was great. Those women know how to pop some bones!

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