The intricacies of love

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The day went by as I was sitting in the coffee shop, and this idea about love struck me.

Not really. I just went to Le Pain Quotidien after my final exam (I am a free man!) and had a huge slice of cheesecake and a bad ice cappuccino. Not nearly enough sugar in it (as I tell Neil, I fund entire plantations of sugar).

I doubt one has sudden revelations about love. It’s more a long monologue, possibly never-ending. I do have some ideas, and they are certainly valid at this point in time and space.

My life has been at many times intertwined with others, in a passionate and intimate way (a more sophisticated way of saying I’m a hoe). I always enjoyed talking with the people I met, about their love and other things. So in a way, I am lucky to have been able to collect experiences and information from many people.

Perhaps a disclaimer is in order: I think the way one loves is personal and unique (cue ‘no shit sherlock’). What people are prepared to sacrifice is different – and I don’t think one can claim that there is a generic thing about relationships or love that is imposed on all humanity.

we are all a bit weird. Life is weird. And when you find someone whose weirdness is compatible with yours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.

I do believe in the ‘one true love’. You can call me a romantic and idealist – but that would be far from the truth. But I do believe one meets his other half – and that there will and should be a feeling of completeness. It’s nothing as easy as hollywood style love. No sparkles, no love at first sight (I mean, there could be, but not always). Sometimes maybe it’s a bit difficult at the beginning.

I also think that once you meet someone who deserves you it won’t be easy. Life doesn’t like to give away important things for free. It will make you earn it – one way or another.

This being said, several things about love: maybe some people are made to be alone. God knows I have met a lot of pricks and idiots. Or maybe they deserve someone who makes them miserable as well. Who knows?

Open relationships are a weird construction. Is it really a relationship if it’s open? I see sex as an intimate thing, something that once you love someone you do not wish to share it with anyone else. That you should be incapable of sharing with someone else.

However, as I’ve said, this might change. Whilst I will probably never understand starting with an open relationship, I once had a masseur ‘friend’ who had been in a relationship for a very long time. Monogamous at the beginning, it ended up more open. He said it had become much more about companionship, and perhaps I could understand that. Yet it all started when he found out the other was cheating, and to be honest, there was a hint of sadness to him when he explained. I think it is generally only one of the two that want it, and the other complies for his happiness and then tries to drown his sadness in a lot of sex.

I also know that when I love I will love wholeheartedly. This might be because I rarely find someone that actually interests me (sorry guys). And I do not expect others to be the same. Again, whilst I would prefer to ‘smile’ because it happened, I do understand that some would not as easily want to suffer. It’s a personal choice.

So yeah, thats about it. I love to rant. Wholeheartedly.

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayal. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

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